" Yeah... I dunno... it suddenly seemed wrong, what we were doing. But now it's over, I'm okay again. It's just something that happens to me." Sex is something to be celebrated," I proposed, "not a cause for shame." Yeah, I know that," he agreed. "It's just how I am. I was the same the first time I let another bloke suck me off. I was the same, even – and I still remember it well, actually – the first night I had a wank at home when I was about twelve!" Really?" I asked."Yeah," he grinned, switching off the tap and shaking the water off his organ like it was a dishcloth. "While I was spunking up that night for the first time, I was really cursing myself, telling myself it was so wrong for me to play with my dick. But after it was all over, I just went to sleep accepting that I was now a lad who liked wanking. I think it just takes me a bit of time to get my head around things."I smiled and nodded, wondering if he'd had a religious upbringing along the lines of my own, and then told. " Why would they do that?" A perception of politics, mostly; keep in mind that Tonya had a lower-class upbringing. To her, she was snubbed in favor of you because she wasn't the 'high-class' type that made them look 'good', and you WERE. So, in Tonya's mind, if YOU couldn't skate for them, they COULDN'T refuse HER any more." And that's why she had the guy attack me?" Precisely!", he exclaimed, "Tonya was obsessed with the idea; more than anything else, though, it was really a matter of her own insecurities. Her relationship with Jeff was highly dysfunctional as well, so Jeff appealed to that insecurity by masterminding the whole scheme." Then it wasn't really her fault?" Yes and no," he answered, carefully choosing his words, "She was in a situation where she couldn't say 'no', but the situation existed because of her obsession with proving that she was 'good enough'." So why are we doing all these things to her?" She's been in a state of denial about this, simply because of the guilt.
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